From the Holocaust to Hogan's Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary
by Robert Clary

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[October 9, 2002] Scotty Crane, the son of the late "Hogan's Heroes" actor Bob Crane,  has been making the talk show rounds.   It seems that he's really upset about the upcoming movie, "AutoFocus" about his father.  It's not that the film is nearly X-Rated, it's that they got the facts wrong.  In addition to them getting it wrong, he claims the whole idea was stolen. 

Several years ago Scotty and his mother, Patricia Crane (stage name, Sigrid Valdis, actress, and co-star "Hilda" on "Hogan's Heroes") wrote a screenplay and titled it "Take Off Your Clothes and Smile" or "F-Stop,"  they couldn't decide.  It is what Scotty claims to be a true account of Bob Crane’s Life, told from the inside out.

 The screenplay was well received and was written up in a story in Variety by Army Archerd.   Soon after that, they discovered that Propaganda Pictures was in the process of writing their own version of the story, "Auto Focus: The Life of Bob Crane."    Once the word was out that Propaganda was producing their own version of the story, the Cranes couldn’t get anyone to consider or even read their script.

Radio DJ Scotty Crane, son of actor Bob Crane.   Photo by Brigitte Stelzer

But like I said, it's not just that they stole the idea that upset Scotty Crane, it's that they screwed it up.  Scotty documents dozens of inaccuracies in the upcoming film, such as:  He photographed women without their knowledge;  He was into S&M and had dungeons all around the country;  And the one that seems to bug him the most:  That Bob Crane had a penile implant.   "First off, they didn't even have penile implants in the 60s and 70s. In fact, silicone penile implants were not used before 1982 -- four years after Bob's death.  And fat injection penile implants weren't used until the early 1990s. Secondly, if he had had penile implants or injections, this would have been noted in his autopsy report, which you can view on www.bobcrane.com."

 

Patricia Crane, AKA Sigrid Valdis as "Hilda" on "Hogan's Heroes"

As I said, Scotty has no problem with the things his father did do, just the things his father didn't do. And if you doubt this for one minute you can visit his web site where all the lurid details are documented.  If you feel like spending as little as  $3.95 you can get a three day trial pass to the x-rated portion of the BobCrane.com web site that includes clips from the stag films which star Bob Crane.  Even without paying Scotty offers photographic proof that his father had no need for a penile implant.  

And the site isn't all about just the sex.  Scotty's offering a set of collectible "Hogan's Heroes" action figures that are quite remarkable in their detail and resemblance to Hogan, Col. Klink, and Sergeant Shultz. But then they should be good, the trio costs $150.

Greg Kinnear stars in the Sony Pictures Classics biopic "Autofocus," Willem Dafoe plays Crane's friend Johnny Carpenter, Filming has just begun.

So what was Bob really like?  According to his son he was a loving father with whom he had a great relationship with. He had an intense drive for perfection, and he was a work-a-holic, funny and very up-beat and  "He wore his lifestyle and his conquests like a badge of honor and anyone who knew him knows that. On one level, the way he needed sex for validation was unfortunate, but don’t we all get some kind of validation from sex? Bob Crane was a kid in a candy store and he wanted everyone to know it. This also brought him validation. He was very ahead of his time as far as his openness about it." 

 

Patricia Crane, AKA Sigrid Valdis, with Bob on the game show "Tattletales"

And Bob Crane was really open about what he was doing sexually.  He lived next door to "All in the Family" star Carroll O'Connor and invited him over to watch his homemade porn.  "Can you imagine Archie Bunker and Col. Hogan in your basement watching stag films?" Scotty asked with pride.  "My father showed his pornographic photos and videos to everyone, including the press."  

Some people think Scotty's a Hollywood whore for trying to capitalize on his father's name with a smutty web site, "This is my father; this is what he did. I’ve been seeing these photographs since I was about two years old. These are my family photographs—we have nothing to hide. And nothing here justifies murder."

In my humble opinion, Scotty's sincere in what he says.  Not only does he look like his dad, he has the same enthusiasm and joy of living that made his father a star.  I don't want anyone to read this and think Scotty just and angry young son-of-a-star with an axe to grind. 

Russell Crowe is slated to star as “Hogan” in a big screen, Brian Grazer- produced re-make of "Hogan's Heroes."  Scotty: "I'm actually pretty excited about that project."

On Monday November 4th: "Hogan's Heroes"  debuts on The Hallmark Channel, air times to be announced.

Hogan's Heroes on VHS These titles are available in limited quanties. Click Titles for more info.
Hogan's Heroes VHS Three tape collector's set includes Volumes 1, 2 & 3.  Each tape features two episodes and runs about 50 min	Hogan's Heroes  Vol. 1 VHS Includes the original pilot episode, "The Informer," and "Kommandant of the Year." NOTE: This Title Is Out Of Print; Limit One Per Customer.
Hogan's Heroes  Vol. 2 VHS Includes "The Great Impersonation" and "It Takes a Thief...Sometimes." NOTE: This Title Is Out Of Print; Limit One Per Customer.	Hogan's Heroes  Vol. 3 VHS Includes "Hogan Go Home" and "Will the Real Adolf Please Stand Up?" NOTE: This Title Is Out Of Print; Limit One Per Customer.