Day 45: Saturday, July 19th, 2014 - Who's Next?
Previously, Armageddon claimed its final victims. Tonight, the shock news for Steverly, and housemates lose the plot.
9:40am The Big Brother house is back to normal after Armageddon ended last night. In the bedroom, new housemates Pav and Zoe are waking up for the first time as regular housemates. That's what the house is supposed to look like, Zoe jokes, now that all the Armageddon props have been removed. Yep, Christopher says. Day one in the proper Big Brother house, Zoe says.
Yesterday, Kimberly had to leave the house due to ill health. Big Brother has gathered the housemates in the living area for an announcement. As soon as Big Brother mention's Kimberly's departure for the hospital, Steven says sh*t and gets a pained look on his face. Big Brother announces an update on the situation and Steven says oh, no. Kimberly is being treated for her condition and is feeling better. Oh good, Steven says. But unfortunately, she is not well enough to return to the Big Brother house. Helen gasps.
At all, Steven asks quietly? The rest of the housemates are silent. Kimberly will not be returning to the Big Brother house, Big Brother says. The housemates gasp, No! She must be so sick, Ashleigh says. Really sick, Steven says, I knew it yesterday. Everyone is in stunned silence. As long as she's being monitored full time, Helen says finally, she obviously had to quit if she needs monitoring constantly. Kimberly's light box is changed to a status of "LEFT".
Steven heads to the Diary Room for more information. He's not OK, he says, he's really upset. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cry. I'm not crying anymore on the show. I was lucky enough to meet her and I just don't know what I'm going to do without her in here. I'm no longer crying, I'm not doing it. Each time he says this, he turns around to hide from the camera. Stop it, Steven, he says. Big Brother tells him to take as long as he needs in the Diary Room. Big Brother understands how hard it is for him to hear this.
It doesn't make it any easier if I'm sitting here, eating breakfast, lunch and dinner with my feet up and she's at hospital, ill. I should be there to make sure she's OK and at least comfort her, to have the opportunity just to see her. But I know you're not going to let me do that. And last night I had to face that eviction stuff on my own. And now she's gone and I don't really know... I got no message from her. no indication from her about how she is. For me, my experience here has been with her.
It's awful, he vents, I've had my mom come on the screen, the crowd chanting Two Second Steven, which I actually found quite funny. I prepared myself all day because I thought I was going to go, and I didn't. Now all this has happened. I feel like I'm getting so much thrown at me day in and day out. I didn't expect this, it's a tremendous amount of pressure. Every single Friday I get all dressed up and get chanted. It's not a nice feeling.
Yes, I had sex on television, but I'm not a bad person, I'm not an evil person. I feel so stupid. I've known someone for 6 weeks and I'm crying because they're not here anymore. For gd, sakes, you must be sitting there laughing your head off, thinking what a stupid wimp. Stupid, he whispers to himself.
11:04am Steven has been asked to pack Kimberly's belongings. Highly efficient, he says to himself as he unzips her suitcase, finding a carry-on inside. Pav, Ashleigh, Ash and Mark are in the garden talking about Kimberly. I hope she's all right, Mark says and the others grunt in agreement. I bet Steven's in a bad way, Ash says. I don't think he'll walk, Mark says. I don't think he will, Ashleigh says. Nobody should walk, Mark says, not for somebody else, no matter how close you get. We all walked in the doors on our own, we're all going to walk out the doors on our own.
One of the most exciting parts about coming in here, kind of, is leaving and seeing the crowd and being interviewed with Emma. That's a massive part of the experience, and if he's thinking about walking, he needs to remember that's 6 weeks ago. it could be over as quick as it started, Ashleigh says pessimistically, they don't know what they're going to be like after. I understand he has feelings for her, Mark says, but he needs to keep his head up and his wits about him and remember he walked in here on his own.
In the bedroom, Steven lets out a belch as he throws clothes and shoes and stuff into the suitcase. All the old sh*t you don't want, he says to himself. He gets onto his hands and knees and reaches under the bed. There's another whole tube of toothpaste, he says. He finds the envelope containing Kimberly's pictures of loved ones, now missing the shredded photo of Kimberly's former boyfriend and tosses them into the suitcase.
3:37pm For today's task, housemates will compete each other in a game of Copy That. Over three rounds, housemates from Team A (Zoe, Steven, Helen, Ash, Ashleigh) and Team B (Chris, Mark, Pav, Winston) will try to outdo each other by attempting something their opponent won't be willing to copy. Christopher will be the umpire and decide the winner of each round. He has a whistle and he blows it to get the housemates under control.
First up is Steven vs. Winston in the Props round. With a set of unusual props, Winston must set the bar before Steven attempts to copy him. Winston goes for broke out of the gate by using hair removal wax paper to remove his public hair. Screaming like a little girl, he removes hair from his thighs, paints his chest and then uses the wax paper to remove his arm pit hair. He squirts some massage oil at Steven then takes a hula-hoop and attempts to twirl it before Christopher blows the whistle.
Steven must now copy that, with the peanut gallery making comments that Winston took it like a man as Steven rips out his public hair and inside his legs. The housemates egg him on, chanting 2 second Steven. He rips the hair off his arm pit and squirts Winston, who squirts him back, oiling up both men. Steven paints his lubricated chest and asks, what's next? Let's do some shaving. He grabs an electric shaver and and begins shaving off his hair. Ash falls to the floor, laughing. Mark is shocked. Stop, Ash tries to say through the laughter. Steven begins to wrap his abdomen with cellophane wrap when Christopher blows the whistle.
He lost his mind, Winston laughs hilariously. As he did not hula-hoop, Christopher says officially, Steven did not successfully copy Winston. OMG, Steven says, realizing he blew it. The winner of that round is Team B, declared Christopher.
Next up is Helen vs. Pav in the honesty round. Each must reveal who they think is the most two-faced housemate and must outdo each other with their honesty. Helen names Chris as the most two-faced, based on the fact she's watched him slag people off, going to the Diary Room and the Pod with other members of the house and slugging people, then having difficulty admitting what he said afterwards.
This isn't fair, Pav says, she's got 6 weeks of knowledge on me. Just tear into someone, Winston tells him. Christopher reminds him he has the benefit over Helen of having watched the series from the start and have seen things the rest of them have not. Pav freezes when the whistle blows, then also names Chris as the most two-faced, essentially repeating what Helen said.
[Pav missed a golden opportunity to out Chris as the Power Housemate from Week 2. -- Morty]
Christopher rules that having watched the series from the outside, Pav should have been more decisive and had a clearer idea over who as most two-faced. Therefore, Helen wins the round. With both teams on level pegging, it's all down to Ash vs. Chris in the Food round. Ash must gorge himself on dog food, jellied eels and pickled eggs, mayonnaise and butter.
Ash starts with a spoon full of mayo, then gags on the jellied eels, frantically choking down a pickled egg and grabs a handful of canned dog food, holding his nose, stuffs it in his mouth. Steven gags in his seat just watching. Pav trash talks Ash, telling him to give it up, he's going to puke. He's not going to puke, Helen says. Ash reaches for more eels and slurps it up. You're a legend, Zoe shouts as Ash takes the can of dog food and empties the rest of it into his mouth. He finishes up biting chunks of the stick of butter. Mark can't watch anymore.
Everything rests on this, Christopher reminds Chris, are you ready? I am ready, Chris says, a determined look on his face. The whistle blows. Cheers everyone, Chris says, as he calmly spoons in the dog food, encouraged by Pav, tastes just like chicken. Chris goes for the mayo, some picked eggs and eels. Zoe fakes gagging to try and get Chris to follow suit, Chuck it up, Steven says, you know you want to. Chris grabs a chunk of butter and returns to the dog food as time runs out.
After a closely fought contest, Christopher decides, the ultimate winners are... Team A!
Team A (Helen, Ashleigh, Zoe, Steven and Ash) share a congratulatory hug.
5:35pm Helen is trying to even Steven's now lopsided hair. I don't know why you don't just cut it off, she suggests. He says he's got a scar on his forehead, he might be a villain. He wants a f*cking proper haircut, Helen says, but we don't have the right blades to blend. Steven tells her to make do. We need scissors, Helen says. Just cut it all off, Mark tells him. There is a lane of hair cut down to his scull from his sideburns over his ears and tapering down the back of his neck. He sees himself in the mirror and starts laughing.
I can't go out looking like that, he says. You're eyes will stand out (if he cuts it all off), Helen says. Your face will look slimmer, Ash says encouragingly. You're in Big Brother, Winston says, f*ck it. OK, agrees Steven. He sits back down and with a big grin, Helen proceeds to shave him down to his scalp.
In the bath area, Chris is talking to Ashleigh about life without Danielle. I just don't, she says, I'm in a frame of mind where I'm happy to be here and back to myself again. And in a way, I think it may be easier for me to be happy, you know what i mean? Chris nods yes. I think so too, he says. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, she says. It's sort of been a bug bear of mine for a long time, Chris says, for you. But I like this group. Yeah, Ashleigh agrees.
Back in the garden, there is only a tuft of hair left on the back of Steven's head. Kimberly's going to think I'm mad, Steven says. Helen says it looks much better. F*cking h*ll, Steven says, looking in the mirror. I don't like it, he says. I do, Helen says. I feel really weird, he says. Look at your eyes, Helen says. Zoe says he got a silly haircut and now looks really sexy. Thank you, Steven says.
5:43pm Ash and Helen are in the wash area talking about Steven. He didn't need to shave a bit of his hair off, did he, Ash says, in that task. What I think it is, Helen says, is kind of a response to Friday. Because of that Two Second Steven thing he thinks he's that unpopular. He's doing it to make people laugh. But not in a joking sense. Desperations a bit steep, but I think he is, he's just dying for the public to like him. Maybe, Ash says, but he's just not like that, is he. He's not been like that for weeks, that's the thing.
In the garden, Pav, Winston, Christopher and Chris area also discussing Steven's frame of mind. I think the pressure and the stress have pushed him so far, Christopher says, that he's literally pressed two fingers up and said to h*ll with it, I'll literally do and try anything. In the outside world, Steven would have access to all kinds of information, charts, he's the boss. He's turning into me, Christopher realizes. That's not the Steven who came in here in the early weeks, that's for sure. Poor Steven.
In the Diary Room, Big Brother has a surprise for Steven. Under these special circumstances, Big Brother has arranged for him to speak with Kimberly in the hospital. Steven springs to life with excitement. Yay, he exclaims. The next voice you hear will be Kimberly's, Big Brother says.
Hello, Kimberly says. I can't even explain to you how worried I am, Steven says. Are you OK? I can assure you I'm just really ill. You know me, I'm never going to say that I'm ill if I'm ill. I was really ill. I know you were ill, Steven says, I've literally been in a terrible state, you don't understand. I miss you. I miss you too, Kimberly says, but you can relax. I'm in the hospital and they're taking care of me really well. I've got my IV, my #1 accessory, I'm rocking it, and I should be good within a couple of days, you know.
I had an emotional breakdown again, he laughs. You just need to stay and f*cking win, she tells him. Right, he says. This morning I was ready to walk out the diary room, he says. If you do that, I'll slap you in the face, Kimberly promises. Steven laughs. I'm not joking, she says. But listen to me, he says, you know how much I love you right? I love you too. But you know how much I love you. Yeah, she says, laughing. What are you saying that for? Don't ever think I don't love you, because things come across on the show that's wrong.
That's my experience also, Kimberly says. I'm going to be the #1 cheerleader for both you and Helen all the way to the Finals. Cheers, babe, Steven says. I love you, Kimberly says. I love you, replies Steven, and guess what. What, she asks? I've got a skin head, he laughs, I shaved my hair off. For f*ck's sake, Kimberly says. And you should see me in today's task. Anyway, I love you, get well, I miss you lots, I've got no cuddling partner anymore... Good, Kimberly says, let's keep it that way. Don't f*cking get a new one.
Just wait for me when I get out, Steven says, I want a kiss when I get out. All right, she says, that can be arranged. Promise? Promise, she says. All right, babe, love you. I love you too. Miss you. I miss you too. And get better! See you in a few weeks, he says, love you. Love you, bye.
That's so nice, Steven says after the call, I feel so, he relaxes back into the Diary Room chair, the weight of the world removed from his shoulders. Yay, he celebrates energetically, Kim & Steve.
6:45pm Mark is fishing for compliments in the pool. Do you think Christopher, I can swim on my back really good with my head out of the water? Watch this. Let me watch, Christopher says, go on. Mark is more diagonal in the water than on his back as he flails around, but his hair, I mean head stay above water. Is that good, he asks? You look like a salmon that's been caught in a fishing rod, wriggling to get free. I don't think I want to be a salmon, Mark says disappointed. Salmon's a beautiful fish, Christopher says.
Do you want me to try again, Mark asks? Nice tasty brown meat, Mark, Christopher jokes. Christopher sticks his tongue out at Mark and says go on. You're teeth look so white against your tongue today, he says. Thanks Christopher, what a lovely thing to say.
In the bath area, Helen is doing Ash's laundry. She tosses a rinsed t-shit over to a stack of clothes and the stack falls over to the floor.
In the garden, Winston quizzes Ash. Have you, um, done anything more with, did anything happen last night, he asks? No, Ash says. Oh, Winston says, disappointed. Just cuddled a bit, Ash says, making Winston smile. I'd tell you what happened, Ash says. After all that time, you don't expect it to happen. So y'all are speaking about it, then. No, Ash says. Could you accidentally do it, if you were horny? Awe, f*ck me, Ash says of all Winston's probing questions. All we're doing is kissing a little bit, Ash says, spooning and stroking each other and sh*t. Just relaxing and sh*t. I don't even know, he laughs, I don't know what to say.
Helen sits down next to Ash and says I can' rinse your pants, they weigh too much. All right, Ash says. And your trackies, she says, I can't get the stains out of the draw strings. All right, he says, thanks for that. You're very welcome.
8:13pm For winning today's' task, Team A has received a fast food banquet which only they are permitted to eat. For the first time in seven weeks, Seven savors, then takes a bite of a hamburger. How was it, asks Zoe? OMG, he says. Orgasmic, Zoe asks? That'll last 2 seconds, Ash says. Zoe takes a bite of her burger.
Team B, the losers, are hungry. Helen comes out to the garden and says there's no way that can be thrown away, there's too much there. There's 40 burgers, Ash tells them. Pav gets up to check it out. There's still chicken selects, Helen adds. I can't not eat it, Chris says, getting up to follow Pav. There's ketchup, Helen says. Let's eat, Mark says. Let's do it, Winston says. Inside, Pav helps himself to a burger, followed by Chris and Mark and Winston.
This is Big Brother. Would Mark, Pav, Chris and Winston come to the Diary Room. Chris laughs, guessing what's coming. Oh no, Ashleigh says, realizing they weren't allowed to eat. You better chow down that, Zoe says. It won't be that, Winston says confidently. Yes it is because of this, Ashleigh tells him.
In the Diary Room, Big Brother wants to know what they've just eaten in the kitchen. Nothing, Winston says with a straight face. We haven't eaten anything, Chris says. What are you talking about, asks Pav, licking his fingers. Big Brother reminds them they were not on the winning team for today's task and the reward was for the winning team. OK, Winston says, innocently. Oh was it really, Pav says. Chris hides his face behind his hand, thinking Big Brother won't buy this sh*t.
Sorry, Mark says finally. As you've eaten food set for the winning team, Big Brother says, you must now all sit on the Naughty Step until further notice. No, they complain, it was a mistake. We didn't even know. It was just there. We're innocent! Housemates, the Naughty Step is located at the bottom of the stair case. You must all go and sit on the Naughty Step until further notice.
As Christopher, Steven, Ashleigh and Zoe watch, the four Team B offenders sit on the Naughty Step. This is against all human rights, Mark moans.
9:27pm Helen goes to the Diary Room to reflect on her time in the house so far. I've grown really close to some people in the house. Their friendship I really, truly value. I can't wait to see them on the outside of here as well. Steven, Ash, Kimberly, Biannca even though I only knew her for a few days. Helen says she hasn't really surprised herself by doing anything she didn't think she would do. She laughs in embarrassment, then claims she's not embarrassed.
She accuses Big Brother of tying to get at something. Stuff having to do with guys embarrasses her, she says. I never used to be like this, she says, I used to be dead confident about I like guys and stuff and I'm not. I've turned into a fridge freezer, always dead frigid around if certain things are mentioned. Even if a guys in the house says I look nice, I just shrug it off. It's so f*cking stupid. I really enjoyed our chat, Helen says, thanks for having me up here.
In the garden, Zoe is telling the housemates about her boyfriend. He hasn't got a six pack or a body, she says, but has funny eyes. You have a catch, have ya, Ash says. Yeah, she says, and he thinks I'm it. Awe, the boys say. He's proper cockney, she says, he says there's fit, there's pretty, there's sexy, there's hot, but you, you're f*cking elite. You can't get better than elite, Mark says knowingly.
Ash asks Helen about her session in the Diary Room. They were just asking about you, she tells him. Saying what, he asks? Have I done anything in the house that I didn't think I would. No, I said and they asked if I was sure. Ash laughs. Big Brother thought I might be embarrassed answering that question. Based off you, Ash tells Steven. Say what, asks Steven you dirty b*stard. What do you think I've done, Helen asks Steven. I thought you were talking about... Steven gestures at Ash and smiles. OMG, Helen says, f*cking h*ll. I know what you and Kimberly did. Steven and Ash both laugh. What do you mean, Ash counters and they all break out laughing again. I can't believe you said that, Helen says.
You just dug yourself a very deep hole, Steven tells Helen. No I have not, she says. You will never see a Steven and Kimberly off me. No more sex, Zoe asks? Steven points to Ash and Helen. It's up to you, Zoe tells Helen, joining in on the joke at Helen's expense. You could be having sex. For f*ck's sake, Helen says, exasperated, are you kidding me? Zoe! Please retract that statement right now. Ash, Zoe prods? I'd never have sex in Big Brother, Ash declares. I'd never do anything like that, ever, Helen declares.
There's no more smut in this house, Steven, Mark says as Ash cracks up again, no more smut going on. Two Second Ash is approaching fast, Steven jokes but Ash is quick with a rejoinder. I'm not like you's, he says says. Quick Smash Ash, Winston begins chanting. Helen says no, that's going to go and if it doesn't happen, it's not funny, is it. It's f*cking hilarious, Ash says.
10:37pm Helen and Ash are cuddling in the bedroom, talking about Winston. He can't sleep, Helen says. He's awake all the time. Hoping for a girlfriend, Helen jokes. He groans all night, matches Ash. He's dying for a girl, Helen says. It's not easy, is it, Ash says. Even if he doesn't do anything dirty, Helen says, he just wants a bird. That's why if Tamara had been here, it would have been so good. They would have been banging, though, Ash thinks. Do you reckon? 100%. I don't think she would, Helen says, defending Tamara's honor.
Mark and Christopher are looking at the take-out leftovers in the fridge. Shall I just taste it secretly, he asks? Christopher says no, just be quick. Stand there so they can't see, Mark orders Christopher. He grabs something and sticks it in his mouth. Christopher warns him the camera just turned. Mark runs away with his mouth full, hiding behind a wall at the base of the stairs. Christopher is laughing. Mark runs from wall to post while he chews. Mark's trying to hide from the cameras, Christopher explains to the others.
This is Big Brother. Would Mark go to the Naughty Step immediately. Nooooo, cries Mark, but before reporting for punishment, he runs back into the kitchen and takes a bite out of a burger Christopher is holding.
Will Mark go to the Naughty Step, Big Brother repeats.
Did he just take a bite, asks Ashleigh, entering the room? He may as well now, Christopher says, as Mark takes his seat, covering his mouth with his hand until he can swallow and make the evidence disappear. Was it worth it, Christopher asks? It better have been f*cking worth it. Mark asks Christopher to bring him a towel and a glass of milk. Anything else, your f*cking majesty? I was just asking as me friend, Mark says, put out. Is someone speaking, Christopher teases, walking away. Well don't go, Mark whines, Christopher! I could swear I heard a banshee, Christopher feigns.
Everyone has left the room. You're f*cking nasty, he says to the empty room, I would never leave anybody on the Naughty Step. Christopher, Chris and Ashleigh are laying on the couches around the corner and out of sight of the Naughty Step, laughing as Mark continues ranting about how poorly he's being treated. I'm not happy, Mark says, I'll remember this. Stop ignoring me!
I've been muggined for the second time tonight and why? Because I believe in fairness for all, that's why. I feel like a very famous man that was incarcerated for a very long time. Who, Christopher asks? I think he means Nelson Mandela, Chris laughs. Mark is not happy.
11;15pm Some of the housemates (Mark, Pav, Ashleigh, Zoe) have decided to pamper themselves with facemasks. They are looking down from the Pod at Steven, who also has a white facemask. Mark laughs, he's got painted nails, a face mask and a bloody bald head. What's he going to be like in one week? I'm wasting away, Steven says from below as the others laugh.
Helen is standing to the side of the window in the Pod, looking at Steven in secret. I like him, Zoe says, he's hilarious. He's changed, though, Helen says. He was so cool and sophisticated when he walked in, sharp, Mark explains to Pav and Zoe. If any of us were paranoid, Helen says, he'd put our mind at ease. He's like the worst one now. He's not like that now, though. No, agrees Ashleigh.
Chris, Christopher, Winston and Ash have joined Steven, still in a white cream mask. You kind of look like, in 2007, Christopher says, when Britney Spears' meltdown started and she was shaving her head. I do kind of think, Steven says, trying to be serious, that they'll keep calling me up to the Diary Room asking if I'm OK. They ask if I'm OK and I'm like, do I look like everything's OK? The other lads are laughing. Do you feel well, Steven continues mimicking, do you need to talk? Soon you're going to be going up in a dress and 7" heals, Christopher jokes, sending Ash and Winston over the edge.
I have to say, Steven says, I'm even questioning myself. I don't want to stereotype anyone, he says, but I walked in here so normal. I've become so abnormal. I don't understand what's going on. I really don't, I've not felt like this before. I do feel like I'm coming out of myself a bit, but I don't know what's going on. Steven turns to Winston and Ash and says you can stop laughing, you know. They laugh even harder. Steven grabs Ash's grey knit cap and puts it over his shaven head, rendering Ash and Winston wheezing gibberish.
12:09am A clean faced Steven is in the bedroom alone, Ash and Helen together in the bed next door. I'm not tired again, Helen says. Oh don't start, is Ash's response. I'm not, Helen says. You're going to keep me up all night, Ash complains. Oh sh*t, Ash says, I've got my sh*t boxers on tonight, do you want to see them? They have pulled the bed covers over their heads. Why are they sh*t, Helen asks? 'Cause they look baggy on, with a hole.
The covers come back down. Where things drop out, asks Helen? Yeah, Ash says, look now. No, Helen says. Steven watches them uncomfortably. Look now, Ash says. I'm not looking, Helen says, turning away.
In the garden, Chris and Christopher talk Steven, Ash and Helen. These aren't people who are going to tell you good things about yourself, Chris says, unless they got something to gain from it. They do a lot of buddying up with each other. Steven's tag line is, Oh you make me laugh, you do. They sort of pat each other on the back a lot. I know, says a subdued Christopher, self-congratulations.
They won't compliment people around them unless they feel they need a compliment. I'll compliment if I see something I like, Chris says. You feel you have no purpose, Christopher says, you could go any time and they wouldn't care. You won't be grieved, Chris says. We're just attached to personalities, analyzes Christopher.
Back in the bedroom, Steven has Kimberly's stuffed robot toy. What are you doing with Robot, Helen asks? Mind your own business, Steven says, rolling over with Robot held tightly to his chest. You cuddling it, Helen says, then to Ash, he's cuddling Robot. Well he can't cuddle us, is Ash's response. Steven makes a body out of pillows and places Robot at the top. He places the covers over both him and Robot and tells Ash and Helen goodnight. Shut up, Helen says. What are you doing with that robot, Helen asks Steven, that camera's just turned around. Nuttin, says Steven.
2:16am Most of the housemates are asleep except Ash and Helen who are snogging under the covers. There are deep breaths, and inaudible whispers, and movement under the covers, followed by giggling and laughing. Oh gd, Helen says.
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